Lost

When i was young,
I never dreamed for a a beautiful dress,
a bunch of toys,
delicious foods,
a can of candies,
even a beautiful barbie doll.
I only dream for one thing.
Happiness.

I was so happy and contented with my life,
never got any complaints against the world,
But I noticed when i learn to grow old,
I slowly discovered some truths untold.

But I never expected some things meant to happen,
I went home from school Wednesday morning at eleven
My mom is teary eyed, she handed me a telegram slowly...
I read every word :"Yves is dead.Need to come here.Hurry!

My tears fall down, and my heart seems to broke,
I don't know what to say, just silently crying in a corner...
My mom is crying out loud, my dad watching us over,
how pain it caused me much, to loose a very nice brother.

I have forget the pain after so many years,
and i always put a smile in my face instead of tears
I have a happy life in high school and my family were so proud of me,
I could no longer wish for anything because I'm truly happy...

It was three o' clock in the morning,
when i was awaken by some worried voices.
I stood up in bed immediately when i heard my mom shouting
When my eyes struck to their bed, I saw my dad ain't moving.

My body frozen with fears and I don't know what to do,
My mind seems to ask questions and I'm worried too...
I realized I'm all alone, my brothers brought dad to the hospital...
And i prayed that dad will be fine and his situation is not fatal...

I went to hospital to visit my dad,
I know am her favorite daughter, I never showed him I'm sad...
He looked me in my eyes when he is suffering in pain,
My heart breaking up so slowly again and again...

I went home so worried, looking for money for his medication,
I felt like a beggar in the street, asking for donation...
I wanted to save my dad's life, I'm willing to sacrifice,
I plead people to help me with tears in my eyes.

But just an hour after I went home from the hospital,
There's somebody knocking at our door, my dad's closest pal
I was shocked when my brother runs back to me, shouting and crying...
"Dad's gone. NO!" That's what he said and I felt like fainting...

My heart breaks right away and I cannot move anymore,
I felt nothing but pain, my heart bleeds for more...
It really hurts to know the truth, dad left us forever!
I cannot accept it and I suffer much than ever...

It was hard for me to moved on when I lost my dad,
I even lost all my dreams that once I had...
I don't want to live anymore, because dad was already gone...
And i know he is really irreplaceable, he's the only one!

Many years passed, I have accepted my dad's death,
And I have learned that there's a reason underneath...
But somehow, I missed how he sang me a song,
And I know, God took him away from us to make me strong...

For each day, I am afraid of loosing someone I love most,
because if I would experience it again, I might get lost.
I never prayed for anything but for the sake of my family,
I decided to leave them to work and how to make our life easy.

After five years, I went home carrying a lot of gifts,
I bought clothes for them and anything that they need...
I hugged my mom so tight and let her feel how i missed her,
And I promised to myself, it would be my best December.

I spent my time with them for just a week,
I do not want to leave them because my mom seems so sick.
I asked her but she told me she's fine and healthy,
So I assumed nothing is wrong and she prayed for our safety.

But a month later, I was so shocked by the news
My brothers told me that mom was so sick,
I felt nothing but afraid and so weak,
I am so worried and i felt so freak!

My heart seems isn't pumping every time I remember my mom,
I always prayed she will survive and she have to wait for me,
I always cried at night, pleading: "God, please, not now, am not yet ready..."
And everyday such a burden and a total suspense for me...

I called my brothers over the phone telling them I'm coming home,
I cried over and over again I can't control my tears,
My heart is breaking up too fast, I can't help the fears
I always wish I could be with my mom for more longer years...

Me and my sis hurriedly went home and I'm so excited
I just thought of positive thoughts, Mom is fine and happy,
There's mixed emotions that I felt but i ignore it right away...
Only to realized I'm standing in a white room, Mom's never waited for me...

Oh! I felt the world seems to turn black and I don't really know,
The feeling I've felt was so worst, so much pain, and a lot of sorrow,
I felt so deeply hurt, oh! it's too much a heartbreak!!!
Mom rested in heaven with my brother and dad, oh! I couldn't speak...

I cried over and over again,
I don't know how to start my life,I felt so much pain,
It really hurts to lost someone you love most,
And now I felt all alone and totally lost... :'(